10.02.09
Observations, musings, and momentum
It’s been a very interesting 4 days.
I am making some very fundamental changes. I have not had my asthma inhaler for 4 days now, since I began this program. I have only used the homeopathic asthma medication a handful of times in 4 days. Wow. Wow.
In all the things you see about people healing themselves, they all mention a key component: you have to believe you can heal yourself. Without this, you don’t have a chance.
Incidentally, this is also the precise sticking point for skeptics. For the skeptic, one’s BS (Belief System) shouldn’t matter; either you are cured or you aren’t. Perhaps this is a matter of semantics between “cure” and “heal”? A disease can be cured. But a person can be healed.
For the first time, I believe that I can heal myself. I haven’t skipped an inhaler hit or ten for 4 days in… well, ever.
I’ve been slowly detoxing my body over the past 2 or 3 years. I have a long way to go. I weighed myself this morning, and was alarmed to see 344.2 pounds. This means I have now put on 40 pounds in about a year and a half, after having lost 110 pounds from my highest known weight.
But the magic that began on the summer solstice is now gaining momentum. I am firmly established in this regimen of self-healing. Already, my asthma is doing quite well, better than ever. But it’s still here sometimes. I don’t think it will fully heal until I fully detox, which is many dozens of pounds of weight loss from now.
The interesting thing is: despite the alarming number on the scale this morning, my focus is not on weight. I don’t have a target weight, because for the first time I feel this is a permanent lifestyle shift for me. All my “intellectual knowledge” about the necessity of a raw food detox has shifted into my soul. I no longer crave these old, addictive foods. They feel like poison to me now. I don’t know how long this will last, but this is how I’m feeling now.
In the 3 months since my year-and-a-day dedication started, it’s been slow turning. However, getting something moving is always the hardest part. Now there is momentum. This momentum brings with it awen.
I’ve started working through an extraordinary book called “Raw Emotions.” It’s very interesting, noting the difference between the effects of its program (raw foods), and the goal of the Druid, which is to live in more overt attentiveness toward our relationship with everything around us. I’ll have more detailed writing about this soon.
darkdaughta said,
October 3, 2009 at 3:18 am
“I no longer crave these old, addictive foods. They feel like poison to me now.”
JWL, I think that the conditioning we receive around food is of massive importance. I am still unpacking all of the miseducation I received over the years especially around quantity and food as recreation rather than as nutritious, healing fuel for my body. Thanks for writing about your journey and also for sharing the blog url. I’m up. Can’t sleep. Think I’ll read some more.